By FRED NYSTROM
For thousands of years, our ancestors created and used maps to show where they were, where they wanted to go, and how to get home again. They also began to develop the skill of planning to ensure the safety of the trip—who to trust, what to pack, and how to protect themselves from hazards along the way.
Today, we have reached the point where our cell phones can immediately show us where we are and even what road to take to avoid traffic. We are at a place technologically where mapping and planning are built into our everyday lives, except in the very important aspect of successfully navigating our own personal voyage.
Our third act in life requires knowing the territory we face so that we can adjust our plan. It involves bringing together those whom you trust to assist on your journey, and the development of your map.
Understanding the Changing Dynamics
As an early “Baby Boomer,” I have experienced firsthand the impact our cohort of close to 73 million has had. We were the youth culture, we affected change in almost every aspect of our society, from clothing and lifestyles to attitudes on sexual behavior and global politics.
And while we chronologically change, the same long-held beliefs we had about changing the world around us are still valid. We will be the generation that reshapes and reconfigures how the older population is viewed, treated, and valued.
Our understanding of the territory ahead of us is affected both by the demographics (numbers) and the attitudes our society holds.
First the demographics. In Washington, the number of people age 65+ increased by 63 percent from 828,000 in 2010 to 1.35 million in 2022. Life expectancy in our state has now increased to 80.2 years. A real shocker was the 2020 Census Report showing that by 2034, for the first time in history, there will be more Americans age 65+ than those under the age of 18. And, within six years, all remaining boomers will be over 65.
Now for the attitudes. I grew up in a family with stoic Scandinavian values where personal issues and feelings were rarely discussed. Dad worked and controlled all the finances. Mom stayed home and managed the household and I learned early not to ask questions about the home finances, the health of any relatives, or any truly personal questions. When Dad died suddenly at age 60, the family was thrown into chaos. Mom had no idea how to get into the bank accounts or safe deposit box to access the life insurance policy.
Many attitudes about financial and family issues have changed over the decades, but some of those old views have stuck with us. According to the Volunteers of America, more than half of the 45-65 year olds surveyed have not talked to their family about the care they want to receive as they age. They have not completed their will, or other legal documents needed to allow their family to make important medical or legal decisions.
An Important First Step—the 40-70 Rule
For all of us boomers, now is the right time to change family dynamics and stop looking at our aging as a solo journey. Instead, implement the 40-70 rule. This rule says that when the children hit the age of 40, or parents reach 70 years, it is imperative to begin the family discussions on aging options. Topics such as what do you want to do if you have a physical or cognitive impairment? Do you want to have support to live in your own home or to instead move to a care facility? Do this together, as a family, so the road map to the future is understood and supported by all.
Fred Nystrom’s media and publishing experience includes starting a tabloid on outdoor recreation and growing it to a national circulation; a decade with Sunset magazine; publishing the Special Places travel guides, plus local magazines and contributing editor for a local newspaper. He is now focused on the issues and challenges of aging.